James Whitaker
The simple rules that make the biggest difference
If you take nothing else from this article, take this: babies sleep safest on their backs, in their own clear sleep space, in the same room as you. Those three things, done consistently for every sleep — day and night, naps included — do more to reduce risk than anything else you can buy.
Place your baby on their back to sleep from the very first night. Some parents worry about choking, but healthy babies are designed to cope with this, and the evidence is clear that back sleeping is safer. Once your baby can roll themselves over confidently in both directions, you do not need to keep turning them back — just start every sleep on the back.
Then think about position in the cot. Lie your baby with their feet touching the foot of the cot, so they cannot wriggle down under the covers. Tuck covers in firmly no higher than their shoulders, or use a well-fitting baby sleeping bag instead. If you use a bag, check the tog rating matches the room temperature and that the neck and armholes fit snugly.
Room sharing: close, but not too close
Current UK guidance is to share a room with your baby for the first six months. This means sleeping in the same room as them for naps and night-time, with your baby in their own Moses basket, crib or cot beside your bed. Room sharing is thought to help because you can see and hear your baby easily, respond quickly, and your presence helps regulate their breathing and sleep cycles.
What room sharing does not mean is sharing a sleep surface. Keep your baby in their own separate sleep space, and keep that space away from hazards:
- Position the cot or basket so your baby is not next to a radiator, window blind cord, or dangling curtain.
- Leave a clear gap between the cot and your bed if you can, so bedding cannot be pulled across.
- Never place a cot or basket on a soft surface such as a sofa, beanbag or waterbed.
- Keep pets out of the room while your baby sleeps.
A clear cot is a safe cot
The safest cot is a boring one. Resist the beautiful nursery styling you see online — for the first year, less really is more. Use a firm, flat mattress that fits the cot with no gaps around the edges, and a fitted sheet that stays put.
Take everything else out:
- No pillows, not even small ones.
- No duvets or thick blankets over your baby's head or body.
- No cot bumpers or padded liners, whatever the packaging claims.
- No toys, comforters or stuffed animals in the sleep space.
- No sleep positioners, nests or pods — these are not safe for unsupervised sleep.
If you want a comforter, save it for awake time and keep it out of the cot. A clean, dummy-free cot with a tight sheet is exactly what you are aiming for.
Keeping your baby comfortably cool
Overheating is a real risk, and it is easy to do by accident in a British home with unpredictable weather and central heating. Aim for a room temperature of around 16 to 20°C. A simple room thermometer takes the guesswork out of it.
To check whether your baby is too warm, feel their tummy or the back of their neck — not their hands or feet, which are often cool anyway. If their chest feels hot or sweaty, or they have a flushed face or a heat rash, take off a layer. A good rule of thumb is that your baby needs roughly one more layer than you do, and no more.
In summer, keep the room shaded during the day and use a fan to move air around rather than pointing it directly at your baby. Never leave a baby sleeping in a car seat, pram or bouncy chair for long periods, and never let them sleep in one unattended — the position can squash their airway.
When you are exhausted: safer ways to cope
Every new parent reaches a point of tiredness where judgement slips. Plan for it now, before it happens. The most important warning is this: never fall asleep with your baby on a sofa or armchair. This is one of the highest-risk situations for accidental suffocation, and it happens most often during night feeds when parents sit down "just for a minute".
If you think there is any chance you might nod off, feed your baby sitting on the floor, on a firm bed, or set an alarm and ask your partner to take a shift. If you do choose to bed-share, do it deliberately and safely: a firm, flat mattress, no pillows or duvets near your baby, no gaps between the mattress and the wall, and your baby on their back. Bed sharing is not advised if anyone in the bed has drunk alcohol, taken sedating medication, smokes, or if your baby was born prematurely or with a low birth weight.
Finally, accept help. A partner, a grandparent or a friend taking the baby for an hour while you sleep properly is not a luxury — it is part of keeping your baby safe. And if you are struggling with low mood, anxiety or intrusive thoughts about sleep, speak to your midwife, health visitor or GP. You are not being dramatic, and you are not alone.
